BREET

I love to support new bands. I love new music. I just bought the Ataris CD, “So Long Astoria”, and almost every sounds the same. Is this the future of Major Label music? If so, I don't give you guys much of a future. It is the most repetitive album I've ever heard. The singer can't sing more than a five-note range and every song has the same beat and guitar mix, except the two “cleverly” hidden bonus tracks. And to think I’ve seen some good reviews. How old are you’re A&R people, 13, 11? Kids would be bored with this album.
Can I get my money back? This album really is a shame when there are so many DESERVING un-signed bands that know how to write great pop songs. I feel taken. Can I get my money back?
Thanks in advance.
Chris Breetveld

From: Lane Steinberg

To: Chris Breetveld

Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 2:07 PM

Subject: More Goodbye Astoria

Chris baby-

Major labels are pretty much good for only one thing: the quick hit. The days of developing a Van Morrison or a Neil Young on a major are long over. Norah Jones was a complete fluke (or sturgeon). The thinking is why wait to age a fine bottle of wine when they can take a deep hit on the glass pipe and get much higher (and for less money)? It's over and it's been over for quite a time. There are no more John Hammonds on any major labels who feel they have to put out Mahalia Jackson records because it's important to our culture.

But the sadder part of the equation is that there is no interested audience. America is uncaring of its rich heritage of inventive songwriting. There is no real demand for anything of a higher quality on any mass level. Great songs and brilliant songwriters? The only people who seem to care are other brilliant songwriters who write great songs. Certainly not A & R men. I once interviewed for an A & R position at Sony with Rick Chertoff. He asked me who my favorite songwriter was. Off the top of my head, I said Jerome Kern. Needless to say, I never got a call back.

There are some good melodies floating around, but the art of lyric writing has died a lamentable death. It's a simple reduction: Kids like the new boy/girl bands or the new "Nasty Playa" and the old fogies are content to hear "Hooked On A Feeling". for the eight thousanth time and think about some chick they lusted over in Junior High School.

During the nineteenth century, opera was mass consumed. People of all classes would walk down the streets of Verona and Rome singing new Rossini arias. Now, opera is basically the domain of the well-heeled bourgeoise. Maybe we all have to wait until we're long ashes on the mantlepiece before anyone gives a rat's turd. As Matt Carges of the Sneetches once told me, the Beatles fucked it up for all of us...

But, as they say, hope dies last. And I remain hopeful that at some point things will shift around. Perhaps some new mind-expanding drug will descend on our culture, ushering in, however brief, some new era of enlightenment. Maybe then I can stop having that strange sensation I get when listening to "Sgt. Pepper" or "Piper At The Gates Of Dawn" that I am listening to music of the future.

With tongue firmly, painfully planted in cheek, my two cents: how can I
resist?

Ahem. Chris, you are sooo off the mark with this. This is not new music.
I am in disbelief that you are suckered in to think this buffoon
kidrockgroup was going to give yer mature eclectic tastes any brain
buzz. You're putting us on, 'ight?

Sheesh, it's bloody awful, they sound like 4th rate junior Foofighters.
Greendayblink. Yadda yadda yadda. AVOID NEW BANDS like the plague; yet
remember that the littlekids are alright. You merely opened the wrong
door there. That's for youthcamp, not you.

Consumer Tip: when in doubt, go to www.amazon.com or www.allmusic.com,
always search for "ataris" to preview sound clip samples BEFORE placing
any order$. Read the artist descriptions to learn what they might sound
like. Email me for my inexpensive expert advice.

Expecting innovative powerpop genius with extreme variety? BWAHAHAHAA.
Wake up and smell the latte, this IS the future of major labels, Grampa.
Teeny spending-power target markets focus. No news there...

And you blame today's ponytailed A&R departments for this sudden
'disappointment'? Ya take yer chances, ole man. False advertising? Not
one bit.

Just joined Columbia Rekkid Clubb? Try some Sun Ra. Debussy. Lefty
Frizzell. Four Freshmen. Soft Machine. Fugazi. Lord Buckley. Alecia
Keys. LMAO!

Refund policy: FISHED INNNNNN!

Sorry, I can't help you anymore. My bad, I shoulda jes kepp my trap
shut. Seek yer personal physician immediately. (:O

Apologies, JEEZ LOUISE!
DR. RSMOORE
(Retired)

Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2000 23:21:30 -0600 (CST)
From: Billy Anderson, Nashville, TN
To: RSM (Moore's Code)
CC: breet

HEY FUCKERS! i wanna share in collaboration. i know chords in several
languages and speak fluent musicianese. i know people who are
polyrhythmic and have tourette's syndrome. just kiddin;, but i do like
BARE NAKED LADIES. FUTURE IS WORSE, AND SPOOJ and do possess a
boundless propensity for the bizarre. just give me a premise..

so cold out there that Walt Disney has complained
Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2000 06:31:52 EST
From: Duf Davis, P-town, NJ
To: breet

Chris -
I will have to take Writerscrap into work to properly ascertain it.
Listening in the basement, the tambourines bug me. But I don't trust these
speakers. It would have been helped out considerably if you had hired a
better looking person to be in the photographs

Subject: Maxwell's!
Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2000 21:41:32 -0600
From: Roger Ferguson
To: Moore's Code
CC: breet

Just enjoyed the entire show. Absolutely THE BEST live presentation of RSM music EVER!!! The Bees are
WONDERFUL, doing exactly what they need to do to present THE SONGS!!! Billy was right-- magic. I can see why you'd be somewhat disheartened by the small crowd, BUT you had to be thrilled by the performance. Breet is my new favorite drummer. He's a machine! I like the keyboard guy. Who is he and where has he been the past 22 years? You guys MUST do that again and again. It's too good to not share. Thanks for sending the vid. Thoroughly impressed and entertained, rf

PS- Krissie Jo- Chalkhills and Children was excellent!

Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2000 12:29:23 -0500
From: Lane Steinberg, Queens, NY
To: breet

Thanks for the CD. Sounds great.
"Their Day" is still as perfect a song as I know: melody, harmony, mystery,
pathos, dynamics, groove...for this song alone you should be immortal and,
of course, there are so many more. "Out Of The Woods" is always great to
hear. Very visual song. The jungle beat on the a-section of the verse adds a
perfect backdrop to the words. Great success with this new CD.

Subject: Re: Goldbutlertape
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 23:33:17 -0500 (EST)
From: RSM (Moore's Code)
To: breet, Dufdavis

GREGSY
DIGS
SPOOJ
AND
DUF

Message From: David Gregory, Swindon, ENGLAND
Date: Tue, Nov 16, 1999, 2:15am (EST+5)

Subject: MooreMusicMooreMusicMooreMusic

The Breetles disc is excellent, Chris knows what he's doing, I'll be
going back to that. Duf Davis has a great style and is clearly a man not
in any way obsessed. I enjoyed his CD whilst ironing this evening. Very
good really.

Thanks for the Fabs. Have you figgered out what song they're playin'?

That's another great compendium of covers you've remoulded Krys, very
intriguing. Lay it on our ass SOON, y'hear?

I go to bed now. I tired...

Davey G.

Subject: HELP! I'VE BEEN SPOOJED AND I CAN'T GET UP
Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2000 18:17:27 -0600 (CST)
From: Billy Anderson, NastyNattieVille
To: breet
CC: RSM

BREET!

i love SPOOJ!

all that fab four fabrication was not wasted on you. and the ramones
stylings and kinks and just about anybody you want. excellent,
excellent, excellent.

what a wicked sense of humor pervades the liner notes and song comments.
so cool!

it's little wonder that indie labels are clamoring to release your
material. i can't wait to dive into another myself.

stevie, you absolutely must give this man a raise! are all your
bandmates this talented. very fine company indeed!

one man bands have always been a focus point for r.stevie and myself.
from macca to roy wood to rundgren and jason. now i must add another
name...BREETVELD!

thanks again,
stay touching,
billy

the breetles
MP3 reviews
west oranges & lemons, new jersey
reviewed by sal may 2 1999

this group from new jersey are the creators of light pop with a retro edge. mildly
reminiscent of the beatles during the early to mid 60’s but with an updated sound and a
harder edge, here’s a band who focus on the positive side of life in these 3 catchy, hooking
pop diddies. tell me what you are, must be one of the better pop songs i’ve heard in
ages. is it possible to have a song this catchy, or a group of 3 songs for that matter, and
not have a record contract from one of the big 5? songwriting is tops, music is just plain
fine and mass music appeal is rampant sign on the bridge, takes on an early 80’s punk
edge similar to the ramones but with none of that moping rock flavour and that’s a good
thing because the voice of main breetle, chris breetveld, seems suited only for the nicer
things in life. even when the breetles get mellower or retrospective, as in mr. market, that
pop edge never leaves it just comes in with a more gritty, real life twang.

who is chris breetveld and why isn’t this man and his band famous?

MP3s reviewed:
tell me what you are, sign on the bridge, mr. market

Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2000 16:39:43 -0500 (EST)
From: R. Stevie Moore, Bugtussle, NJ
To: breet (Chris Breetveld)

CB,
fab show last eve.

btw,
did I hand you a $50 bill last night (instead of a $20?)....thought Todd
gave me one, can't find it, too dark, too tired, too fuckin'
senile.......TOO BROKE.

Billy was blown away by your drumming. He was so impressed at how NICE
all of y'all were. Good people.

So naturally I told him to go fuck himself!

RSM

Date: Sat, 4 Sep 1999 23:38:13 -0400
From: Lane Steinberg
To: Chris Breetveld

Good to know RSM's pluggin' away. I pulled out a record I've rarely listened
to, "On The Road Again" by Roy Wood and realized it sounds an awful lot
like...Chris Breetveld.

As I told you, I made Steve a Breet compilation but I don't give it to him
because I can't take it out of my cassette player!!!

Are the people in "The Class" real?

T.V. Station is a great, great song. Ben Folds could only dream to write
something that good.

Listening to "Their Day" again, I had the mindblowing revelation that the
last line is not "Modern science you seek/to make him a sheik", but "Modern
science you see/Can make him a she"!!!

What the hell is THAT all about?????

Subject: embarrassing story
Date: Thu, 23 Dec 1999 04:41:10 EST
From: Duf Davis, Burned-Out Basement, NJ

To: breet

Chris -

I got your Christmas card - I had just opened it up and my brother's 5 year
old was over and she noticed the "connect-the-dots" part of it. She's a big
fan of connecting the dots so I let her take a pen out and trace in your
handiwork. When she was done she wanted to know what it said. I wouldn't
tell her, but she kept demanding and started to cry about it so I finally
told her what it said. She didn't know what the word meant so I had to tell
her "well, your Uncle Chris Breetveld is a cunt". Then she understood.

Kurt

Subject: BREETLES Contest Results !!
Date: Fri, 06 Aug 1999 15:20:27 -0400
From: Greg Shuss
Newsgroups: alt.music.power-pop, alt.music.pop, alt.music.independent, alt.radio.college, alt.music.alternative,
alt.music.swedish-pop

July's Big Winner was Yuri Burnosov from Bryansk, Russia !! Thanks for
all the contest participants.. Each and every month we ask fans to pick
one of their favorite BREETLE songs and email us. Then Skippy the Wonder
Dog barks at his favorite email response and ..we have a winner!! They
get a brand new BREETLES CD and a special bonus surprise delivered to
the door courtesy of the US Mail !! So check out the Breetles on MP3.COM
and we'll be picking a NEW winner in August. Enter early, enter often..
but enter today!!

SO VISIT THE BREETLES at: http://www.mp3.com/breetles

See a review at: http://www.ward42.com/raw/reviews/the_breetles.html

Hey and thanks to Yuri who is now getting new Breetles fans on Russian
FM Radio!!

AND Watch for the new Breetles CD "WritersCramp" upcoming on Permanent
Press Records!!

we luv ya..

Subject: NotTheWhiteAlbum
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 10:43:00 -0500
From: Douglas Wolk , WFMU-FM, Jersey City, NJ
To: Chris Breetveld

>This is Chris from the Breetles. Thanks for using our live rendition of
>"Glass Onion" on your Not The White Album broadcast yesterday. I taped
>the show and it was great. Could you email me a playlist for the NTWA
>since some of the foreign artists would be very challenging for me to
>spell on my tape box. The Alison Krauss was an excellent choice and the
>Breeder's "Warm Gun" was really great. You should make a CD-R of the
>project with bonus "other" versions of songs you had dupes of. (like
>"Why Don't We Do It..") Nice job and thanks again to you (and Bob
>Brainen for getting the DAT to your mailbox.)

Thanks very much! Here's what I played... and I now have _almost_ enough
covers to do a whole second version of it!

Douglas

Back In The U.S.S.R.: Ramsey Lewis
Dear Prudence: The 5 Stairsteps
Glass Onion: The Breetles
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: Arthur Conley
Wild Honey Pie: Das Damen
The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill: Klaus Beyer
While My Guitar Gently Weeps: Marc Ribot
Happiness Is A Warm Gun: The Breeders

Martha My Dear: Ambrose Slade
I'm So Tired: Alex Chilton
Blackbird: Sarah Vaughan
Piggies: Danbert Nobacon
Rocky Raccoon: Lena Horne with Gabor Szabo
Don't Pass Me By: Freiwillige Selbstkontrolle
Why Don't We Do It In The Road?: Bren't Lewiis [later, Lowell Fulson]
I Will: Tony Furtado with Alison Krauss
Julia: Bongwater

Birthday: The Texas Chainsaw Orchestra
Yer Blues: Matmosphere
Mother Nature's Son: Harry Nilsson
Everybody's Got Something To Hide...: Kristen Hersh
Sexy Sadie: pHoaming Edison
Helter Skelter: The Bobs
Long, Long, Long: Phish

Revolution 1: Billy Bragg
Honey Pie: Gary Lawrence
Savoy Truffle: Ella Fitzgerald
Cry Baby Cry: Big City Orchestra
Revolution 9: Kurt Hoffman's Band of Weeds
Good Night: The Moog Beatles

O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O
I'M SUCKING COAL THROUGH ONE END
AND KILLING TREES WITH THE OTHER!
O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O O=c=O

FUN RADIO-Playlist Nov.'98
Date: Mon, 07 Dec 1998 06:06:51 PST
From: Crisrian Busuioc. Bucuresti, Romania
To: breet

Hello there,

Thankx for your support. I have enclosed my latest playlists.
Please send me your new releases.
Finally thank you again and I hope to hear from you soon.

Best regards!

Cristian Busuioc, Music Director
Str. Valea Argesului7,
Bl.A8, Ap.6,OP.74, Sec.6,
Bucuresti, Romania

______________________________________________________________________
Hello! This is Cristian Busuioc from FUN RADIO-BUCURESTI 102 FM.
Here's the 6.& 13.Novt.'98 Weeks
"Post Modern" playlist:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
ARTIST TITLE LABEL
______________________________________________________________________
* QUANTUM RAGE SONGS FOR DEATHMATCH GIGADETH PROD.
* ED ROCK & ROLL IS COOL... EDIPAL
* THE LACES THANK YOU AND GOODBYE LAND PHIL
* THE GREAT KAT BLOODY VIVALDY EP KAT
* LAST BAND ON EARTH S/T RENEGATE ARTS
* FLOODED LOST ANGELS 7" VERTIGO
* FORTUNE & MALTEZE LEAVE NO STONE...7" GET HIP
* WINDOWPAYNES LOST FRIEND 7" GET HIP
* VILCANOS WINE, WINE, WINE 7" GET HIP
* HETCHMEN MY CATALINA 7" GET HIP
* MYSTIC EYES LITTLE GIRL 7" GET HIP
* STEVE DICKINSON BLINDSIDE STEVE D.
* TEST DEPT. LIVE AT THE RITZ AUDIOFILE TAPES
* SPONGE WAND INSIDE JAR AUDIOFILE TAPES
* VARIOUS ARTISTS WHERE IT'S AT '95 AUDIOFILE TAPES
* VARIOUS ARTISTS WHERE IT'S AT '89 AUDIOFILE TAPES
* VARIOUS ARTISTS SONIQUE SUISSE AUDIOFILE TAPES
* BREETLES SPOOJ NO FAULT
* ELECTRO DINGUS 2026 NITROGEN JUKEBOX PH10
* LD-50 S/T EP LD-50
* BREETLES POP GO!THE BREETLES NO FAULT
* GRAND FACADE S/T ATOMIC CARESS
* THE MARSHES/FAKE HYPPIE IN-BETWEEN SPLIT EP KEROSEN
* ROZEN BOMBS LIKE A VANDEVILLE TORPEDO TUNE-OF-FISH
* SPONGE INSIDE DOWN AUDIOFILE TAPES
* THE BEE ZOO BOOMBALAH DINGO
* HARTLAN SOUND AND WORDS HARTLAN
* PAUL H TAYLOR RAISED ON RADIO BROKEN DISH
* STINKING BADGER OF JAVA IF IT'S FETISHES... YIPPIE BEAN
* MJB C'MON SLACKER SEMPER LO-FI
* MJB SLOPPY QUIRKY WUSSY POP SEMPER LO-FI
* VARIOUS ARTISTS SURFIN' THE SPILLWAY HAPPY HOUR
* SUGARWOOD CATCH A BREEZE & FLY SWEET TREE
* SUGARWOOD LOVE, LOSS & CARPARKS EP SWEET TREE
* STAN MIDNIGHT ANGET GET RHYTHM
* GLASSOLINE S/T XENON
* JEFFERSON DENIM DHARMA KAMIKAZE PINGUIN
* JEFFERSON DENIM INTO THE RED KAMIKAZE PINGUIN
* SEAN GOOD VOL.1:BAND THAT NEVER WAS SGIP PROD.

BREET'S E-mail Bagism

(send YOURS in today!!)